Flobby

Read Time: 2,5 mins

Only Murders in the Building is one of those shows that is light-hearted and addictive in equal measure. 

Selena Gomez plays the bisexual amateur detective Mabel Mora in the series who dates both male and female characters throughout its run. She never states what her sexuality is, she shows it as if it’s as normal as being heterosexual. It’s nice to finally see some smoothly integrated unapologetic bisexuality in pop culture. However, this is not an article about that.

One of Mabel’s love interests is Christine’s old crush from Grey’s Anatomy, played by the actor Jesse Williams, Dr. Jackson Avery. In Only Murders in the Building, he plays a documentarian known only by his first name, Tobert. Yes, you read that right. Like Robert, but then not.

Christine and I were speeding through the episodes. They were an elegant distraction from bouts of first-trimester vomiting. With season three came the introduction of new characters, namely, Tobert. One of the season's gags was for everyone to get his name wrong. Late one night, as Mabel gets particularly annoyed with him, she proclaims, this time on purpose, “And you can shut it — Flobert.”

I found this very funny. Christine stared at me from across the sofa, an eyebrow quivering with the desire to rise.

“That’s a great baby name.” I grinned.

“It’s not.” 

“Ickle wickle baby Flobert!”

“No!” 

“Cutsie, teenie weenie, ickle wickle baby Flobert!”

“Stop it,” but she had started laughing.

“They would be truly unique.” I could barely get the words out.

“Don’t wet yourself!”

“Imagine the triplets — Flobert, Blobert, and Tobert.”

I almost wet myself.

It took a little while to compose myself. Christine was once again engrossed in the show. I sat beside her, stroking her belly aimlessly and wondering what a little Flobert would look like. 

“We’ll nickname it Flobby for short,” I said as the end credits rolled.

“We won’t,” Christine said bluntly.

Flobby stuck as a working title.