Oliver is born

Read Time: 6 mins

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Dear reader, a side-bar from our current pregnancy articles to announce the birth of my son. I wrote this while sitting next to his bed in the NICU of our local hospital. It is unedited. Please excuse any errors. I will continue to write about our pregnancy journey as well as my new journey as a lesbian dad. There will likely be no logic to what article comes when, just what I fancy, when I fancy it. I hope you’ll enjoy all of it. I will be getting back into writing very soon, bear with me. Until then, love from Christine, Oliver & I. x

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Dearest friends and family, at 09:29 on June 23rd, Oliver Patrick Holmes made quite the entrance. After a relatively as planned 10 hours at home, the last 2 were kind of a rollercoaster. 

At 7cm dilated, Christine’s water broke and it was quite impressively full of baby poo. Marise and Aimee, the world’s most powerhouse midwifery team, drove Christine to the hospital as if they were starring in Fast and Furious 14. Christine’s worst nightmare came true as she was stuck in a hospital giving birth on a bed with body crippling back contractions. However, with a team of 8 female doctors and nurses quite literally cheering her on and guiding her through the process, Oliver was born in 29 mins of primal push. 

Unfortunately, he did not have such a good a start. It became clear very quickly that he was unresponsive, unable to breathe, and blue in colour. He had come out with the chord around his neck and full of blood and feces.

What happened next, while not what was wanted or planned, undoubtedly saved his life. He was brought up through Christine’s legs for her to see. The mother bear instinct jumped in and she clasped him and kept repeating “kleine baby”. I was able to see the baby, not knowing the sex yet, was not doing well. He was completely limp and lay with his little blue lips apart. I explained to Christine with Marise’s help that he had to be taken away for a bit but that I could go with him. I think watching her have the baby taken away from her is one of the hardest things I have ever had to watch.

The doctor had no time for sentimentalities and I jogged behind a crew of 4 leaving my crying bloodied wife to be cared for by the midwifery superheroes. 

It was a very bizarre scene to watch as 4 medical professionals moved the world flobbiest baby down to an almost cupboard like room down the hallway. He was dropped into a heated cot and one nurse held air over his mouth.

“What’s his name?” One of the doctors smiled at me.

“Oliver” I said after a moment of realisation that I was a mother and that this little guy had a name.

It felt so odd but so nice to hear his name referred to by others.

He was then subjected to an hour or so of tests, four medical professionals stimulating his hands and feet, and many, many desperate attempts to find a very tiny vein. 

I was reassured by a doctor in training who stood with me and explained everything they were doing. They reckoned he was limp because every effort of his existence was being put into breathing. I could see his chest working very hard. He had been short on oxygen but with a bit of help from a c-pap machine he was able to retain oxygen but his lungs weren’t working very well so they were being helped by the machine.

Slowly he regained some colour, and then his legs started to kick, then he could move his fingers, then arms, then his head a bit. They explained that a lot of his values were showing clear signs of distress during the last part of labour but he also had a fever and thus could be struggling with an infection.

He was to go up to the NICU and remain under their care for however long it took. He wasn’t very keen on getting a feeding tube down his nose. I, too, would have cried at that. And they had to trying 7 or 8 attempts to get an IV into his veins. Eventually they succeeded in his arm but they had to force his arm straight in a cast for it to stay in.

Before we headed up we stopped briefly in Christine’s birthing room where she got to meet our son for the second time. This time covered in tubes and wires, and for the second time I had to leave her crying there.

In the elevator, one of the nurses pointed out his big hands.

“Also, look at his toes, they’re so long”

So we know Oliver takes after Christine already!

In the NICU a kinderarts finally succeeded at getting the IV in and then he was able to get antibiotics and a shot. He spent the afternoon and night in the NICU ward with us across the corridor in a room. Christine was wheeled up into the ward to be with him once she was dismissed from the birthing part of the hospital. 

After 36 hours of being awake, Christine and I went to bed knowing he was in the most loving, doting and caring hands of every member of the NICU.

At 01:30, I got up to help Christine with pumping and we had the lovely surprise that Oliver had been taken off the c-pap machine. At 05:00 Christine got to spend 2h cuddling and breastfeeding him while I was passed out on a bed in her room.

This morning at 08:00, we had the even nicer surprise that Oliver got to come and stay with us in the room. He is still a bit poorly but they are working on him and he is being monitored closely. We’re hopeful we will be out of hospital sooner rather than later.

Also, he snores, just like my beautiful strong loveable wife.